ZeroZero in Rome: A lesson to the weak ones

Hardcore You need to skimn up now! NOT.

This city is full of wack bombaclotters. They`re not up for getting WELL lashed up and billing up.
They dance around to the wackest music my ears have ever had to endure....

First and foremost: The Quest for Erbal Hardcoreness

The Method

1. Get extremely lashed up on Jagermeister (56 different types of erbs)
2.Get an extremely pissed member (or members) of your group to go and ask tramps for hashish.

Mind you, don't get a lightweight involoved or they are sure to be gay.

If you happen to be lucky enough to meet some cool dealers, then get some erbs before the lighweights start throwing up and rolling around on the floor in front of poofs and the police.

The Instructions

1. Get some skins. (expensive - £1.50)
2.Skin Up.
3. Get mashed.

NB. Avoid at all costs the impulse to toak on the beds. You will pay in the end for the damage. Bad.(190,000 lira)

Seriously though, Romans are friendly but cheekily clad. We stayed near central station which is inhabited by Rasbombas' all day long. Hotel Kennedy was pretty hardcore, with TV all you can eat breakfast and all for 20 quid a night. Don't hang around the hotel though, because there is nothing hardcore near it.

Go for a half an hour walk and you may encounter some allright places. Rome has loads of places where you can buy loads of different drinks, this is because theyare all lightweights and don`t drink jack shit, so there is much possibility of losing your liver. Don`t go near any americans if you want to smoke erbs - they`re just too damn gay. You will only get justice if you go to the cheeky places. If you drink Jagermeister you will always feel chilled and ready for action. Watch out for TsingTsao beer in the many chinese shops. You must always watch out for nappers in the street being cheeky, and the spastics who can`t drive properly.

And the gay waiter in the pizza place at the end of theroad from hotel kennedy - he`s a right grumpy cunt.

If you want to see the excrementally bullshit ("best bar in Rome"), then go to the Drunken  Ship. This place plays the crappest music,but the shots are certainly large enough. Get pissed and pull the girl with the Baileys.

Buy lots of Pizzas, they are cheap and "lekker". You can eat as late as you want, and drink copious ammounts of cheap wine.
We met some lightweights from Hitchin on the bus. They were worse than the Americans at the Colosseum who were carassing their painful holes.

The vatican was pretty chonged. The Catherdral certainly had the aura of being pretty chilled anyway. ( This is probably because the pope needs somewhere to meet his lady friends...)

Shops are on the whole are a  little bit too- wack. The foreign shops are the best, with loads of Chinese, Japanese and Korean shops which sell the strongest chillies and loads of different alcohol. Don't get skanked though - buy plenty of Jaega-Masta and Stophoest (if you can find some contact ZeroZero - zerozero@pcworks.demon.co.uk.

Walk for 10 miles a night trying to find somewhere hardcore - then drink some more Jagermeister and skin up again
ask some more rasklaats for hashish and try not to purchase any with pepper in. If Rastafari buy you a tink - you pay for that son.

To conclude, you can have a good time you think you are hardcore enough. This means that everyone *must* be hardcore and act like they are from Valhalla.  There was no Terrorcore as promised, the local bars were usually empty and the Italians were too lightweight to get truly caned up. Mind you, if you walk around enough there are probably some zombie people. We were'nt really in the centre of town - Station 'Termini' is a good half an hour from the centre. You can always get a bus - they are free!!! And on the way you can always look out for body bags and police.

Additional safety comments from Dr. Fucko: If  you see old bill pull a shooter, don`t skin up - this is not the best place for mash-heads. Go to the Vatican and walk round backwards shouting Bathory lyrics.

            DAMN, SON.
                                            ROME:
            GOOD                                                    BAD
   Jaegermeister                                    Wack American fools
    TsingTsao beer                                    BodyBags in the street
    mETAL                                                sHIT iNDIE fALSNESS