ECTS2 -1999

"MY NAME IS ZEROZERO AND I`M AN ALCOHOLIC...." One of the numerous 'ZeroZero staff' touring the exhibits

This years mashup mission to ECTS was a metal march  for revenge. We were determined to get mashup and claim our beer so we could bring ya`ll the latest computer news in a lickup style. Our journey started with a train journey where we prepared a cone shaped friend, and then proceded to cane it as soon as we hit London.

The scale of the show kicked arse, but we checked out that computer nerds couldn`t rock the suave styles we was bringin`, with ties an` shit. Recognise game, fools(!). We checked out a few gadgets, a cool seat for playing games that was also perfect for coshing in when you`re mashed. Of course, we were in no state to cosh, we had to claim maximum beer skankage. Our karma for this beer caning was to encounter a bizarre man with a SERIOUSLY MAD VOICE. He was showing us a good WWII flight sim he`d done. If only I could have deciphered his vibes, e.g (well high sqeauky voice, but well slow) "EEEEEEEeen Theeeeeeese gaaaaaameeee yoooooOOO hAve to fly de old plaaaanes, yeeeeees? "

Then we rocked the gypsy stands, on some skanky no beer shit. Poor marks to Intel, who denied having beer when there was a crate in the fridge. They have no mates. Then we checked the Nintendo stand, they had every game availible for the N64 set up, but couldn`t spell half the titles. Perhaps they were as pissed as us.

Then we got some other free shit, chonged it up and checked the Sony vibe. They had enough quality games, but every bastard and his dog were hogging them. Maybe we`ll get to play them if they actually send us some Playstation games - or how about putting me on the mailing list for a review Playstation 2 when it comes out. You must think we`re made of money(, brew doesn`t buy itself), son.

Then after a long wait for tickets to the Sony party. We got well bored until fights kicked off for them. Some nappers were payin` £30 for them shits, fuck that, we was checkin` it cos no one has a real session unless ZZ is in da house. We knew that for ZZ to really hit ECTS in true fashion, we had to get as many tickets as possible. We did and proceeded to hand them out randomly, to many disbelieving drunkards.

After the show itself, we spent some time chonging in the middle of London, and then rocked on to the party scene. This was a party in what looked like a U-Boat hanger or a warehouse tunnel thing. Anyway, as soon as we arrived we knew that this was the place to be. Hundreds of people, 6 free bars with as many drinks as you want, and as many combinations as well. In addition we were handed out many free packets of tabs, and were given tequilla by tequilla people. (One of these we passed a rather strong spliff. Two minutes later he was spotted being escorted out of the party, half naked, and with all of the tequilla gone.)

By two in the morning most people had left, though we encountered a metal friends called Achilles who worked for Playstation : Manowar was in the house in numerous guises! Apart from that, we managed to get a few takeouts for the continued party home to sunny Hertfordshire.

So to sum up in a few key phrases:

Intel: tightarse bastards.
Beer: enough for all
Ladies: many
Games: many free ones
Misc: Chongage, battle, beer, skliff, beer, hot, boring tech-twats, "have you got an appointment?" - "yes. With your beer supply.", wack bands, beer.

Come on you Industryklaats, you like a bevvy or two yorself, so admit it and get lashed with us at the next one.

Cheers, ECTS, you made our day. We will be back to savour the best of the European Masheds Conventions! Excellent stuff. Just open a coffeeshop next time. And play some metal. Do the shit in Amsterdam and invite us - no weakness, you know the mu`fuckin stylo.